Just another Tuesday

 I have grown old in twenty years,

Memories felt like nails against chalkboard,

I'd never wish to be 14 again,

My grandmother's wailing of inadequacies

Ricochet on a cloak of loneliness and misunderstanding,

She had broken us.

Maybe she felt vengeance

we were the burdens left her with her.

I still find fragments of longing for love and acceptance,

She was broken too.

Twenty years have passed since I last smelt the sea,

Or felt the ripple of a wave,

My body and mind focused on healing bruises of words, so offcourse

Senses became secondary,

I miss my eyes filling up because of the vaporized, salty air,

Sand moving beneath my feet beckoning me to dive into the blossom of a wave.

Twenty years have passed since My mother said call her by her name,

I was ashamed, not for her,

For myself for not understanding sooner that she wasn't 'Mummy' anymore,

The lump in my throat from holding back tears meant to stay with me till now and maybe till the end of time.

Twenty years have passed since finding comfort between fingers through mines,

I wished those gentle hours lasted longer 

Where love unconditionally flowed between conversations and

Hidden glances

My heart clinging to sweet memories of 

Smiling lips and stolen touches.

Years in seconds.